MRS
FALSTAFFWORTH
Now
Mrs Falstaffworth was weird
Apart from her wearing a beard
She was 2 foot 3 tall
And that wasn’t all
There wasn’t a thing that she feared.
Well
when she was born she was young
Like most of her family begun
And the smack from the doc
Took the family by shock
‘Cause he slapped her face not her bum.
Soon
it became clear to see
When she was between two and three
That a dress she may wear
But her facial hair
Was growing like leaves on a tree.
When
she reached the age of fifteen
It was clear she was no beauty queen
But with fists she could beat
Everyone in the street
And run rings ‘round the town’s rugby team.
One
day she was seen by a man
Who thought to himself, “If I can,
I’ll get her to go
To the local freak show” –
It happened to be one that he ran.
When
she was told the idea
She asked him around for beer
‘Cause after a drink
she hoped he would think
of her as more normal, not queer.
It
worked and they married that night
In her garden by pale moonlight
Now the man’s always seen
Walking ‘round in a dream
And he tries to stay permanently tight.
©
Wayne Gardner - 1983
|
