HUMOUR - DURRINGTON

Humour

Bulldog and Parrot

Wanda's dishwasher stopped working so she called a repairman.

Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen.

But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

Paddy & Murphy

Paddy says to Murphy, "Hey, Murphy, I'm going on holiday. Would you want me to bring ya back some fags?"

Murphy says, "Dat's nice of ya Paddy, bring us back 200 B&H."

Two weeks later Paddy comes home and goes 'round the pub looking for Murphy. When he see's him he says, "Hello there Murphy, I've brought ya back them fags ya wanted."

"Great, tanks for dat" says Murphy, "how much do I owe ya."

"Dat will be £74.50" says Paddy.

"For Christ sake Paddy", says Murphy, "were did ya go on holiday".

Paddy answers "Butlins, why?"..


	Personal A-Z		Humour Bulldog and Parrot Wanda's dishwasher stopped working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!" Paddy & Murphy Paddy says to Murphy, "Hey, Murphy, I'm going on holiday. Would you want me to bring ya back some fags?" Murphy says, "Dat's nice of ya Paddy, bring us back 200 B&H." Two weeks later Paddy comes home and goes 'round the pub looking for Murphy. When he see's him he says, "Hello there Murphy, I've brought ya back them fags ya wanted." "Great, tanks for dat" says Murphy, "how much do I owe ya." "Dat will be £74.50" says Paddy. "For Christ sake Paddy", says Murphy, "were did ya go on holiday". Paddy answers "Butlins, why?"..		Services A-Z